Over the past couple years I have been focusing on art projects that challenge me in some way. I’ve had this energy of wanting to see if I can do something, and then doing it.
It’s taking baby steps as efficiently and productively as possible.
I wanted to see how quickly I could animate something interesting; I animated something everyday for a month last year, and am planning to do it again for February. I wanted to see what it would take to produce a coloring book as well and as fast as I can; I did it two Octobers in a row, and it takes me about a month of steady drawing to complete. The next step up seemed to be a full color short story, with writing and drawing it took me about two months total.
Little Witch was a fun project born out of a fun and whimsical idea, turning the Twelve days of Christmas into something spookier. The art style fell into place easily, and while the rhyming couplets took a bit more strain to produce they turned out the perfect mix of cutesy and weird. My writing group, who of course cheerleads and champions any project, gushed over the adorable characters and silly humor. It was entirely a positive project that was getting a positive reception.
So naturally, when I finally finished it, I spent a long while considering throwing the whole thing away and moving on to the next thing; some actual art.
Suddenly all this built up joy and whimsy and carefree art felt heavy and cumbersome and just so completely worthless. I couldn’t help but weigh it against all the other ideas I have in my head, all the big bold challenging thoughts that I keep away from because I’m not good enough to touch them yet. The Big Writer Ideas that will be thought provoking and evocative and powerful. The Big Important Work that will say something, say THE something that will shine a light and cure and conquer. And this Little Witch wasn’t that.
She was just simple. She was just cute. She was just fun to work on.
I released the comic, of course. Even with how low I get I have at least learned to hold myself grounded to the things I know are real, and while I may be swimming in my insecurities two things are true; if I had fun making it someone will have fun reading it, AND, it doesn’t matter if it flops.
It’s my first comic, and thrusting my grandiose ideas of what my work could become onto it is setting myself up for a disappointment that I know I can avoid. I am looking up at the top of the stairs dreaming of the view, needlessly resentful of the steps I have to take to get there. It’s frustrating, because it’s an insecurity that feels like a knee-jerk reaction to any vulnerability. Knowing better doesn’t stop the system from running broken programing, it just means I can sit here knowing what the problem is while waiting for the machine to finish crashing so I can fix it.
Sometimes it’s healthy to let your body release its tensions by wallowing in your depths. And sometimes when you wince from the light it’s a sign to press yourself harder into the fire.
I wrote and illustrated a very cute and cozy short comic. It’s about a Little Witch gathering ingredients for the evening’s most important spell; dinner. Please read it, and if you do I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it.
Made by Voiquinn 